Senator Jon Tester Invokes Constitutional Right to Mail Delivery

Citing the United States Constitution and the pressing needs of rural constituents, Senator John Tester demanded the continuation of Saturday mail delivery yesterday.  Tester protested Postmaster General Pat Donahoe's 5-day delivery plan when the beleaguered public official appeared before the Senate Homeland and Government Affairs Committee. Tester, a self described third generation dirt farmer from Big Sandy Montana, said in a press release,

"It's in the Constitution that we have to have a Postal Service.  It's worked well for this country for centuries, and the fact is when it comes to our senior citizens, when it comes to rural America, it's absolutely critical. So I'm one of those guys who, when they say ‘cut service on Saturdays,' says ‘no' and wants to know what other options are out there."

"The fact of the matter is that everyone wants to help the Postal Service become more economical, and if we're doing things that actually reduce our mail volume, we're heading in the wrong direction."

Jon Tester had no comment on Electronic Bill Paying and Bill Presentment, EBooks, the Internet, Blogs, Email, EFT networks, Web Portals, EMagazines, Google, Facebook, a tepid housing recovery, sky-high unemployment and glacially slow economic growth – things that have actually diverted or reduced mail volume.

According to his campaign web site, Senator Tester lost three fingers in a meat grinder at age nine.  In a recent appearance on HBO’s “Real Time, With Bill Maher” Senator Tester took advantage of a national television audience to expose the right wing, secretly funded conspiracy that made him whole.  Tester complained,

"Elections are a part of government. This money comes in, we don’t know where it’s come from, we don’t know if it’s corporations domiciled in this country or outside this country which would be patently illegal. And they continue to put in money to try to, in my case, make me into something I’m not.  For example, one of the ads had five fingers on my left hand. OK -- those babies been gone for 47 years.  But truth is they didn’t care about the facts, they try to define you as something you’re not. I don’t think it resulted in a better informed voter, in fact, a less informed voter. I think this is proof of the fact that they didn’t do their research because they didn’t care. There was a lot of other stuff too that was far more heinous than that."

It does seem like there was some surreptitious tomfoolery during the election campaign, at least according to Huffington Post,
 

In the waning days of Montana's hotly contested Senate race, a small outfit called Montana Hunters and Anglers, launched by liberal activists, tried something drastic.

It didn't buy ads supporting the incumbent Democrat, Sen. Jon Tester. Instead, it put up radio and TV commercials that urged voters to choose the third-party candidate, libertarian Dan Cox, describing Cox as the "real conservative" or the "true conservative."

Where did the group's money come from? Nobody knows.

Jon Tester was re-elected last November with a plurality of the vote when the majority opposition split between Republican candidate Denny Rehberg and Libertarian candidate Dan Cox. Tester substantially outspent his Republican opponent, financed by a huge edge in large contributions and in contributions from PACs. 

Please check back in to Along the Gradyent for continued coverage of Senator Tester’s crusade to represent Montana values in the US Senate.  We will report on Mr. Tester’s revelations of additional heinous campaign tactics as they become available, as we will news of Tester's evolving stance on truck control.